Friends . . . With the Breath of Kindness . . .

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship lately. Several personal health-related experiences, the debate on the pros and cons of the latest “social media” technologies, and watching personal friends work through challenging relationships, these are some of the sparks that prompted my thinking about friends and friendship.

One favorite quotation that I first heard many times many years ago surfaced often as I mused about the meanings of friendship in today’s world. I thought this quote was specifically a quote on friendship, but thanks to a Google search and a quick check on Wikipedia, I learned that it was first published in Dinah Mulock’s novel, A Life for a Life, published in 1859.

150 years later Dinah Mulock’s words aptly describe what happens when real-world friends engage honestly with each other:

“Oh, the comfort--the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person —
having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words,
but pouring them all right out,
just as they are,
chaff and grain together;
certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them,
keep what is worth keeping,
and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.”

Thinking About Thinking

When our four children were growing up, and especially during their teen years, we encouraged them to learn to think for themselves. At times the effort seemed boring and repetitious. Especially when I frequently quoted the lines “Sow a thought, reap an action. Sow an action, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a destiny.”

But looking back, I think this well-intentioned effort was worthwhile. Our thoughts do shape us. In today’s world, some other relevant questions are not just: “What’s on your mind?” but also, “What’s on your phone?” “What’s on your laptop, your PDA, or your desktop computer?” The input, what we deliberately fill our minds with; the memory banks, what we store in our minds; and the daily renewal of our minds and hearts—these are all practices that we must pay attention to in order to become authentic followers and disciples of Jesus.

Disciples learn how to manage their minds by learning how to think effectively. For 21st century followers of Jesus, these personal mind management practices will also extend to how we manage our electronic brains, internet pages, avatars, and more.

Mother Janet Stuart, challenged her sisters to “Think glorious thoughts of God and serve Him with a quiet mind” (Life and Letters of Janet Erskine Stuart, by Maud Monahan, page 307).

As Frank Laubach writes: “A clean mind is good--but not good enough. It isn’t enough to cleanse the mind of evil thoughts, though that is essential. An empty mind will not stay empty or clean! Jesus’ strange parable about a devil which left a man’s mind and came back with seven more devils was exactly to the point.

“The demons found the man’s mind cleaned and a vacuum, so they rushed in. The only way to keep out demonic ideas is to have the mind full of “a good treasure” of thoughts, vital, burning thoughts, big enough to fill the mind and heart.

“That is why Paul was speaking a truth he got straight from Jesus when he said: ‘Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things’ (Philippians 4:8).”

“Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse” (The Message).

(Prayer, The Mightiest Force in the World, Fleming H. Revell Company, Westwood, New Jersey, 1946, pages 94-95).

Learning to Pray the Jesus Prayer—A lunch, a book, and a video.

I was having lunch with a friend recently when he said a book that helped him learn about prayer was The Art of Prayer published by Faber and Faber. A quick search on Amazon.com produced a list of similarly titled books including The Art of Prayer an orthodox anthology compiled by Igumen Chariton of Valamo translated by E.Kadloubovsky and E.M. Palmer edited with an introduction by Timothy Ware (London, Faber and Faber, 1966). I purchased the book online and began reading.

The Introduction alone makes this a book worth studying carefully. The goal of the book is summed up in the first five lines of the Introduction: ‘What is prayer? What is its essence? How can we learn to pray? What does the spirit of the Christian experience as he prays in humility of heart?’ Such are the questions which this book sets out to answer.

As Timothy Ware explains this book was compiled by Igumen Chariton, a Russian Orthodox monk in the community of Valamo on an island in Lake Ladoga on the borders between Finland and Russia. After the death of his spiritual director (a staretz or elder), Chariton turned to books for guidance.

“It was his custom to copy down in a special notebook the passages which particularly impressed him, and so in the course of time he compiled an anthology on the art of prayer . . . in 1936 he decided to publish the material in his notebook. Deliberately self-effacing, he added no comments or connecting links of his own—‘not daring even to presume,’ as he puts it, that he had ‘achieved Inner Prayer’—but he left the authors to speak entirely for themselves” (page 10).

While most of the quotations are from Russian writers in the second half of the twentieth century, the collection goes back as far as the fourth century. “Taken as a whole, Father Chariton’s anthology sets before the reader the spiritual teaching of the Orthodox Church in its classic and traditional form” (page 10). The quotations focus on the Jesus Prayer, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy upon me.”

After reading the introduction, and discovering a kindred spirit in Igumen Chariton, I decided to learn more about Timothy Ware. Thanks to Wikipedia, I soon followed a link to iTunes U, where Seattle Pacific University’s Annual Alfred S. Palmer Lectures in Wesleyan Studies are posted. Here, Timothy Ware now known as Bishop Kallistos is the featured speaker on four free video lectures that can be downloaded to your iPhone or iPod. His talk “What is Prayer” provides an especially helpful overview of the Jesus Prayer. You can find Bishop Kallistos’ talks here

More Practical Ways to Pray Every Day

As Frank Laubach observes, “when we experiment with prayer, we become scientists in the most important and least understood of all fields” (Prayer, The Mightiest Force in the World, Fleming H. Revell Company, Westwood, New Jersey, 1956, page 81). Here are some more of his recommendations adapted for 21st century readers:
• Throw a cloak of prayer over people
• Pray while you read or watch the news . . . pray for world leaders . . . “Lord, may this man or woman be hungry for You”
• Pray while listening to music . . . pray while performing music
• Pray for all whom we remember . . . every person who comes to memory
• Pray when awakening and when falling asleep. We can easily develop the habit, so that closing the eyes at night or opening them at dawn automatically reminds us to pray. ‘When I awaken I am still with Thee.’
• Precede, enfold, and follow all deeds with prayer. Prayer and action should be wedded. Just as a great surgeon does his best work when praying while he works, so all of us do our best work.
• It is not essential in praying to close or raise the eyes, to kneel or stand, to fold the hands or lower the head, nor to make the slightest change of position . . . Rev. Calixto Sanidad, a Filipino saint, wrote: “I used to farm with my hand on the plow, my eyes on the furrow, but my mind on God.” That was real. Prayer and work were wedded!
• Glenn Clark writes: “We discovered that to pray truly, to pray with the greatest abandon and with all of one’s being. It must be a technique that would include one’s body as well as one’s mind and one’s soul.”
• One of the best ways to pray is to take a vigorous walk, talking to God in rhythm with the steps. There is no more exhilarating way of taking exercise than a walking prayer.
• Practice makes perfect. From now on, you must NEVER fail to pray whenever you think of it, if only for a second. Habit building is a process of starting and sticking to it.
• Teach young people to make brief sentence prayers many times a day; teach them that prayer is the best way to meet every need and every task.
(Excerpts adapted from Prayer, The Mightiest Force in the World, pages 81-92.)

Last Visits to a Literary Oasis—Stacey’s Bookstore in San Francisco

Here’s a glimpse of a once bustling bookstore slipping into history. The shelves are half empty, today books are 40% off the retail price. Tomorrow, the shelves will be all that’s left to buy.



During my first attempt at a “last” visit to one of my favorite lunchtime haunts, I bought a C.S. Lewis book telling the story of his radio talks broadcast during world war two that were eventually published as Mere Christianity.



After another week or so, I was back again, for a second “last” visit. This time three books left with me, the first a classic autobiographical work by William Styron: Darkness Visible, A Memoir of Madness. Next came The View From a Monastery, The Vowed Life and Its Cast of Many Characters by Brother Benet Tvedten. Then sixty years of poetry by a Poet Laureate, Donald Hall: White Apples and The Taste of Stone, Selected Poems 1946 to 2006. The last came with a CD of the poet reading selected poems which I look forward to listening to on my iPod during our Sea Ranch vacation.





I almost didn’t return for a third and “final” visit, as the sight of the now mostly empty shelves was slightly depressing. Then to my delight I found one more book in the basement. Surprised by Hope by the New Testament scholar N.T. Wright became my last book from Stacey’s Bookstore. Two weeks ago the very last book was sold at the store, and only brave booksellers who need more shelves were searching through the remains as another literary oasis passes into history.

After 85 years of bookselling on Market Street in downtown San Francisco, Stacey’s Bookstore will close in March, 2009. Sales have dropped 50% since 2001, and a shaky economy and a 15% year over year decline for last year’s final quarter combined to bring this favorite haunt of browsers to the end of its run as a full service bookstore.

In the store’s heyday there were Stacey’s bookstores in Palo Alto, Modesto, Richmond, Cupertino, Los Angeles and San Bernardino. Stacey’s San Francisco store has always carried a wide-ranging selection of books. While Stacey’s built its reputation around technical books for professionals, the San Francisco store always carried something for everyone. Three floors of opportunity for booklovers meant the store was always a popular lunch-hour retreat. The remaindered books, conveniently organized and displayed with blue and white “Stacey’s special value” stickers in the basement were an especially powerful magnet for bargain-hunters.

Stacey’s former customers are now exploring downtown San Francisco’s lanes and alleys, searching out alternative oases where we can browse and buy the books that feed our minds and strengthen our souls.

Three Practical ways to Pray

Frank Laubach’s Prayer, The Mightiest Force in the World, presents many helpful suggestions on how to pray. Here is a selection that you can try:


PRAY with pencil and paper at hand
“When God sends a thought, write it down and keep it visible until it can be carried into action. Pray for individuals by name. Vital prayers always suggest things to be done. Indeed, prayer and action must be mates, or both are weak. The mightiest men and women on earth are strong in prayer and strong in deeds ” (pages 74-75).

Flash Prayers
“Everybody in every ordinary day has hundreds of chinks of idle wasted time which may be filled with flash prayers ten seconds or a minute long.” Here are (selected, and modified) illustrations of such moments:
• Upon awakening in the morning
• Dressing
• Asking the blessing at table
• Leaving the house
• Driving or walking to work
• Between appointments
• Preparing meals
And a hundred more chinks of time all day long until crawling into bed and falling asleep (pages 75-76).


Pray for Others
“Far from making one tired, this prayer for others is the finest tonic I know. When you are utterly tired from work or study, walk out into the street and flash prayers at people. Your nerves will tingle with the inflow from heaven. Prayer ‘is twice blest, it blesses him that gives and him that receives’” (page 78).

Will The Chronicle Survive? Will Digital Papers Soon Replace Newsprint?

As a Bay Area commuter, most of my work days for almost 24 years have started with the San Francisco Chronicle as a regular morning companion. In the early days Herb Caen's column was a favorite morning read. Lately, Jon Carroll's column has provided many wry smiles. Sports, Business, then the front pages, then Bay Area and World, finishing up with Datebook, Food on Wednesdays, and what used to be Wine on Fridays.

Recently the sections and layouts have been modified but my reading habits have followed their usual trails. Last Friday, I had to take this newstand photo as the news is not so good these days for the Chron. Will it still be on the stands next week, next month, next year? After more than 140 years of publishing daily news and entertaining features, the paper has been losing $50 million a year and the Hearst Corporation must now find ways to save or it will be the end of the Bay Area's major daily newspaper. Founded in 1865, the Chronicle ranks as the daily with the 12th largest circulation in the U.S. But like so many traditional newspapers, its future is now in question. Will all of our major papers be replaced by digital editions this year, next year, or sometime in the next decade or so? Will the Chronicle survive as an online resource?

On the same day that I shot the Chronicle in the newspaper vending machine, some online research pointed me to a moving video that tells how the Rocky Mountain News, another major urban newspaper, reached the end of its long life. All who love journalism will appreciate the story as told by those who worked for the paper. And commuters may have another reason to move their daily news reading habits online. Click here